Tuesday, September 29

still waters stagnate

reflections, originally uploaded by sing.sweet.

i've fallen off, i've made my peace
the rushing water's taken me
down from my place of easy rest
i hate this change but know it's best.

beauty in tumbling shifting of life
throughout my days, i know they're rife
with tumultuous times and bumpy ways,
but i'm here for the cheese at the end of the maze.

so confused

what am i learning, what am i feeling?
you really want to know?
then man up, make your life your own.
step up and tell me so.

confused and angry, sad and sure
i know that this is right
but it sure is hard to elect lonely darkness
when i have the choice of light

what am i learning, what am i feeling?
you really want to know?

yeah... me too.

[[side note - i think i'm going to try and use original photos from now on. i'll let you know if they're not mine.]]

Sunday, September 27


on the road to satisfaction 
i have found my bargain plea
see, there's nothing i can offer
'cept myself: and all of me. 

cuz i can't give just my intellect
and cant give just my pride
if i'm holding on to anything
my arms aren't open wide
to embrace the road before me
and embrace a love that's true.
so i'm dropping everything i've got
and holding on to you.

the road to satisfied...

i dont like this,
feeling useless
i dont like 
to feel alone.
does it matter 
if i like it?
is it hopeless?
is it home?
is it what i have
resigned to?
is this all 
the life i chose?
i wont whine, but
is this forever?
they say heaven
only knows.

Saturday, September 26

only you can love me

no doubt the world will keep knocking us down,
but naturally we've come through it.
it's unmistakable how being loved like this feels
and only you can do it.

your love is different than everyone else's
i'm drawn to what just you can offer
there's respect i can notice, wonder i can feel-
i hang on your words as you proffer.

you understand the desires of my heart,
and i understand what you say
on top of your aid your heart comes a la carte...
only you love me that way.

Thursday, September 24


always someone to take your place
always someone better
you either disappear without a trace,
or you're mimicking to the letter. 

it's not you, not what you love-
your beautiful disaster. 
you're losing yourself in a sea you're scared of
and gaining timidity faster.

a beauty, intelligent, but insecure
don't forget to be true to the truth!
compromise that and you lose what is pure:
your passions, your quirks, and your youth.

now you've had hardships that have made you sure.
been beaten and broken and battered.
but here's something you can be gratified for:
that damned insecurity's shattered. 

Tuesday, September 22

gratitude for grace

as i look to you for guidance with my shallow seeking eyes,
they will brighten when i find you, which should come as no surprise.
am i looking for adventure, or the kind of life you bring?
am i hoping to find treasure or the chance for me to sing?
i want nothing but your comfort, and that way which you would have
for my feet to walk in step with yours is the most soothing salve
that ever i would find on earth, by farther and away...
and my heart laughs in gratitude, for i know not what else to say.


singing through sadness, fighting back fears
repressing the dark doubts and strangling tears.
running towards light which, far as you can see,
seems as far as it always has been and will be. 
long days and short nights wear you out, clear and thin
as you tug on your bootstraps, and wear your false grin.

dear one, there is true hope; dear love, there is life
try forgetting your worries and leaving your strife,
come home to the family who loves you more deeply
who will fight for you staunchly and climb for you steeply,
never forget where you came from, dear child
though you seek to be free and you live to be wild...
come back home to the family whose love will be there. 
your family is who you have. 
families care.

Monday, September 14

beauty and tears

-Grandparent's day 2009-

heartache and love, beauty and tears
a soothing sad voice as it falls on my ears
is there something that calms me or makes me to know
that we'll all just feel better, and once again grow?

love from the heartache, beauty from tears
never forgetting you soothe all my fears
there's nothing that makes me know better than this:
the repressive embraces that follow death's kiss.

goodbye, me-mah.

Sunday, September 13

don't leave me.

surrounded by love, but you won't overbear
pathetically feeble and weepy.
you feel like you're just begging them
dont let me go, don't leave me.

who knew that it could feel this way
the loss, the setback, the sting.
they don't tell you grieving in time and as is
is the most ordinary thing.

different for all, but universally true
the feeling transcends the behavior
needing more than a cuddle and more than a friend...
needing a literal savior.

"don't let me go, don't leave my side",
your heart cries out to be held.
don't you wish you deserved it, wish you'd been good?
don't you wish you had never rebelled?

Friday, September 11

oh, how He loves us!

full of excitement and love of the world
you're a giggling, perfectly beautiful girl.
forgetting your mishaps and every last flaw,
you can now stand in wonder, and worship in awe.

Thursday, September 10

no good, very bad day.

sometimes its a no good very bad day
and there's nothing you can do
there's blue sky somewhere but clouds above
and they're pouring down on you. 

its okay to be angry sometimes
to feel frustrated and upset
just remember that someday, and someday soon,
will be good as it's gonna get.


Jewel, originally uploaded by Shootages.

softly, softly - so softly you come
the subtle excuses that leave me quite dumb.
gently you've worked your way into my head
priorities changed, nothing more to be said.
you found me alone and you came back to me
removed anger, resentment, and then let me see
and i'm happy again, in a way that's sincere.
oh jewel of joy, how i love that you're here.

Wednesday, September 9


emotion rules me more than it ought
the delicate balance is thrown off again.
god, take me away, away from this dissonance
to a place where the love doesn't end.

a tear falls down, of joy or remorse?
in confusion i want nothing but to be held.
but rolled tightly inward, i clutch my own knees...
in hurt i'm inspired, in darkness compelled.

it's walking a tightrope, it's talking in code
it's delicate work that takes more than a friend
oh, stop this frustration! oh, take me away...
to a place where the love will not end.

the beauty in me

waking to a cold wet world.
opening my eyes
colorless, lifeless, but beautiful,
i find to my surprise.

there's beauty in good and beauty in bad
beauty in all that i'm seeing...
I love the creation of all as it is - 
its' storming and falling and being.

who knew that a day that i thought would bring hate 
dawning, made me to be free?
the cynic is gone, i can start moving on,
and start seeing the beauty in me.

Monday, September 7


full of peace, dripping with radiance
this solitude is very nice,
a place that makes me the picture of salience.
but every refuge has its price.

Friday, September 4

slow motion

there's a door to my heart i'm stuck behind,
i once peered through the rusted lock.
i saw the world for what it was
then turned my gaze back to the clock.
content but not quite satisfied, 
fulfilled but not all there
the colors just aren't quite bright enough
to make me stop and stare.
i feel transfixed inside myself,
trapped in but peering out.
the beauty i see makes me want to be
around, within, about. 
but i can't be seen about the world
in this old unsightly frock...
now the motion is slow, i must stop and go,
as i walk to my door, and knock. 

Thursday, September 3

i'm letting go.

not to worry, not to care, not to be consumed with doubt
to follow what i know i love and live for what i'm all about
to learn to be truly grateful for the blessings on my way,
to stand on the edge of insanity but to know i'll be okay.
to open my hands to the future, and to wholly, completely forgive...
to seek to be truly letting go is the way that i want to live.

Wednesday, September 2

make the most

i don't mind a good enthralling day
of being a comfortable me
i'm not scared to laugh, so i should note
that i forgot the tea. 

this day is pretty, and i make the most
of days i wake up with a smile
it means a lot to smile on a day
you've been anxious about for awhile.

a forgetful soul remembering too much
i'm a paradox at best
but i'll make the most of this day that i have
and not worry about the rest.


i just get the feeling like something's not right.
i wanna be helpful, i wanna be strong,
but it's hard when i'm worried too, scared and upset
i just feel like something is terribly wrong.

praying for good and still yearning for best
i hope that this case will be open and shut.
am i overreacting? is there no cause for fear?
i cant shake this feeling inside of my gut.

it's okay, it's alright, we're gonna be fine
no matter the outcome, we're gonna get through.
i love you, i'm with you, there's no need to cry.
just hold on to me - i won't let go of you.

Tuesday, September 1

in my place

crucified to set me free...
i live to bring Him praise.

who knew i'd want you through and through-
i gave all that i am for you.
who knew on my best day i'd never be 
enough to give you what you need.

a tragic truth, a stinging curse,
i sing the song - verse after verse
a hopeless cry, a damned refrain...
i've you to lose; but naught to gain.