Wednesday, March 24

faith is not progress.

while i find myself ineffective,
and success is elusive - a wraith
i've been told there's a strength in my weakness.
praise God, progress is different than faith.

and so, eating my chocolate, i step forth;
first timid, then more and more bold
i fail, time again, and often disappoint,
but i'll finish before i am old.

i'll finish my mission accomplished
(if battered and with brown-bruised knees),
i'll come to my goal line; step up to the plate...
home run. one day i'll win with ease.

though achievement may still be deceptive,
do not allow me to misstate.
remember: we're worth more than we're good for.
our worth is intrinsic - innate.
ethereal and beautiful, memories never die.
if it's been one year, it may as well have been a hundred.

Sunday, March 21

grace :)

what is it about not needing attention and being around people who you know don't judge you that makes life really, really good?
free acceptance. unconditional happiness.
happy to drive and look up at the stars, happy to sing along loudly in the car. happy to sit barefoot and cross-legged next to an old friend, content enough to wait 2 hours for slow employees. happy to take a walk to the park, happy to eat oreos. satisfied not to be holding anyone's hand, happy to be spun too fast on the merry-go round, happy to fall asleep watching shows with a friend to cuddle with, happy to find beauty in places most unexpected, along with those places which are most cliche.
life with grace... it's the good life :)
i'm sick of saying "care for" when i mean LOVE.
if i want to love you, i'm trying to treat you like the perfect Person would treat you, and to see you through HIS eyes.
i'm sick of beauty being only that which is untainted.
beauty is that which has been broken.

you are truly beautiful.
and i LOVE you.

Friday, March 12


"leave the people who have hurt you,
but keep memories nearby."
'well, thanks alot, cliche and trite,'
i mutter as i sigh.

the memories aren't present -
for the past has passed me by.
but sometimes it makes me crazy
and i just can't figure why.

as happy as i am here,
i feel like i have to try-
put forth effort and put up a front.
i still struggle not to cry.

i don't know that there's an answer
to the pain that makes hearts die.
maybe we're meant to just sit here,
wond'ring and screaming

Tuesday, March 9

we're beautiful, we're beautiful, we're beautiful - it's true.

i've found a soul that takes my breath -
one free to walk the line.
i've found a soul that's beautiful;
objectively divine.

i've seen a life that's lived in light,
too innocent and true
to ever be tainted by petty vexation.
i've seen that life in you.

i've seen great anger and angst and confusion
and wills which refuse to agree.
i've seen much dark conflict and downcast complexion.
i've seen all of these things in me.

see, if we overlook our loveliness
we're insecure - insane;
but if we see our beauty
then we're arrogant and vain.

as we try to do just as we're told
our confidence bleeds out.
let's see ourselves for who we are!
live strong. forget to doubt.

i've found a future beautiful
with a radiant, sparkling shine.
a soul, a face, a love, a joy.
and all of this is mine.

Saturday, March 6

there's something about home that i just can't get enough of.
i love it more every time i come back here, and it's not just for the mommy hugs and the real food.
[growing up may suck, but it does have some perks.]

i'm living to hope like i know what's coming,
run like i've never been tired,
sing like i'm wanted all over the nation,
and dream like i've never known a single limitation.

i'm hoping to love like i don't care who loves back,
to give like i don't care what i get,
to giggle and be pretty like i love to be a girl,
and to help like it's the only purpose i have in this world.

Wednesday, March 3


you can't lose yourself just by losing your dream
and you can't find yourself in swimsuit and sunbeam.
you are not lost because you have lost hold of her.
you are not lost, my son, though you may wish you were.

for i never forget you, not night or not day,
i'd have you home safe if i had it my way,
but my way's not life, though i hope for it still
for i never forgot you, and i never will.

though you drown quite away in the drink and the pain,
that cursed liquid will never erase the great stain
of a heart bleeding love from the seams that were burst-
that is lonely at best and so done at its worst.

my heart hurts with yours, though you don't know it does
i claim hollow prayers as you float on your buzz.
the futility links us -- the senseless transcends
as my prayers go unheard and your high always ends.

reminded, revisited, time and again
i can't help but think of how we were back then.
and though in comparison, you now feel lost,
don't sell all love to feel no pain -
it's just not worth the cost.