your tears never fall

you may say you've let your guard down,

that you're not perfect at all - 

but your phrases never falter,

and your tears, they never fall.

you can make it as you feel it,

if you must, slow to a crawl.

'cuz there's no comfort for no weakness

or for tears that never fall. 

yes, some cry for attention

and so humankind will see

that they're miserable and so forlorn

(over nothing, if you ask me),

and you don't want to be like that 

so you stand tall, stiff, and free.

but you're not free at all if you

can't let yourself just be.

so be it as you feel it, child,

take down the wretched wall

that keeps the world of others out,

my love, don't you recall

the days when you were cared for

and accepted, overall?

but now you've lost your faith in us,

and your tears never fall.

true joy and faith

there is joy outside of comfort

and faith outside of hope...

these terms that seem synonymous

if married, did elope.

for i've found one without the other.

their dependence is not true.

their kinship has been struck apart

in gladdened grand venue.

for joy, it needs no comfort

and faith is rid of hope. 

each of these former are choices that

are means for us to cope

with our deficience of the latter,

and transcend what we bemoan;

to live life to its very fullest, and

be satisfied alone

with the great GRACE that we've been given;

with the blessings on the way!

joy and faith are friends that keep us

sane from day to day.

and more full than merely sane, you see,

more complete than just content.

life's trials ne'er conquered o'er this pair - 

they came, they saw, they went.

to fight discontentment with thankfulness

[the opposite of whineypants]

i like photobooths and oreos and dancing terribly,

i like mango juice and cream of wheat and picnics by the sea.

i like kittens and clouds and eyeliner and a comfy pair of sweats,

i like thunderstorms, and motorcycles are just good as it gets.

i like going crazy and playing games, and watching shooting stars,

i like taking pictures and going on walks and blue convertible cars.

i like learning new things and working out

 and drinking raspberry propel,

i like sunrises and doing my hair and i like delicious smells!

i like autumn and prisms and days on a boat, 

and children from zero to four

i like black and white pictures, and ladybugs 

and the cologne that this one guy once wore.

i like swings and big blankets and tears of joy 

and my newest pair of jeans,

i like dragonflies, and barefoot days,

 and bright oranges, yellows, and greens.

i like pearls and flipping and seeing old friends, 

and daisies, and cowboys football,

i like zebra stripes, and sometimes,

 i just like being a fly on the wall. 

i like spending my day doing work that i love but exhausts me, 

and then when i'm through,

i like snuggling and dancing close and getting hugs from you.

feeling

originally uploaded by Cosi!.

feeling rather selfish as you walk towards the door

wond'ring to others, as much as to you, 

"what are we living for?"

feeling rather sheepish as you peer around yourself

taking your heart seriously 

as you place it upon the shelf.

feeling quite secluded as you live in perfection alone

but you can't take the chance that the others would dance;

that your beauty would be outshone. 

feeling rather timid as you step forward, on with life.

the remarks that you hear, darling, year after year

cut deeply and sting like a knife.

wishing you could know the joy of opening up to sing

but you're holding back for your future's sake, 

and you're feeling everything.

self unaware

[mine]

incandescent elegance,

iridescently frail.

hanging in the balance

as you doubtfully inhale.

knowing not your comeliness,

your symmetry unmatched.

knowing only frailty-

your heart's door remaining latched.

a somber kind of stateliness

a doleful coup d’état

knowing you have a strength within

but not even knowing the law.

uncertain as you move along

though you certainly mesmerize

desperately holding to how things were

as they vanish before your eyes.

integrity of detail

[mine]

everything looks brighter when you open up your eyes,

brighter than you ever thought it was.

when you've found whiter and discovered bluer skies,

embrace it - be enthralled in just because.

find sentimental happiness, find newness of the mind

find everything inside that you believe.

be ever on the lookout for what forces you to find.

try always being less and less naive. 

in living life for little things and details that surround

you may find more to your existence here.

you may seek out more solemn thought and love that's more profound

be yourself, but more insightful. 

be sincere.

life: embraced

okay, number one, there have been ladybugs everywhere for a good week, which has totally made my day on quite a few occasions.

number two, since i've gotten back into reading, i've committed myself to way too many books. i'm loving them, but a girl with homework just can't keep up!

here's something i'm learning about ladybugs and books, though: 

each day is all about what you make of it. 

some books and bugs are scary, and that's just the way they are - but a lot of books and a lot of bugs can be pretty  lovable. do you dread the midtone, the neutral of your life and push it away, do you buckle down and get it done, or do you embrace it for all the good it can be? here's to bugs that are buddies, 

and books that stretch and inspire.

here's to a life embraced.

Cause then and there, with the wind in your hair,

Heaven was jealous to merely look fair 

against you.

[making april]

what do you say?

"you know that i'm longing

you've made me this way

so explain your heart to me, please - 

what do you say?

i know you don't love me,

i know you can't stay

but what about one more chance?

what do you say?

you've slit my affection;

i'm lost in the fray

why have you done this?

what have you to say?

my one last-stitch effort

was lost by the way.

i tried all things possible:

when you don't give, you pay!

but as a last gesture,

take or leave as you may,

here's this sad heart in parting.

what do you say?"

i am. nothing can.

[mine]

i'm the cream in your coffee, the snow in your hair

the red in the evening sky.

i feel as though nothing could bring me down now-

i'm the comfort in tears that you cry.

nobody's perfect and nothing's the same

but i have what we all want to be.

i'm waiting on it to come through for me now

patience, as they say, is key.

so i'm waiting on me to become who i am

but embracing who i am right now - 

i'm the bloom in the flowers, the change in the leaves

and no, nothing could bring me down!

with friends like these, who needs enemies?

is there any way to be rid of the hate?

can we ever forget all this pride?

our differences stagger, the tension is great

and we don't like each other besides.

we can't fight this feeling of friction between

we can't make believe we're okay. 

this place that should make us feel warm and at home

truly makes me feel more like a stray.

but we're not alone, sister, we've been placed together

to stick it out, find common ground

we can make this work, brother, we've got more than hate

opportunities always abound.

for unity is that which makes us to love

when love is the last thing we feel-

the strength of the bond is created by will...

commitment is what makes it real.

so don't forget you're in the way of the future

when you make this life all about you. 

everyone's frantically chasing their dreams...

maybe you'll make one come true. 

tentwentyfirst

i wish for you hope that flies on the wings of the morning,

and dreams that take you somewhere better. 

i wish for you love that lets you know life is good,

and challenges that make you more than you were.

i wish for you great courage that saves you from worry,

for everything is never as it seems. 

As for that Meteor Shower...

the dream

 originally uploaded by jennabee25.

her palm open on the pillow, facing downward towards the floor

her mouth falls slightly open and begins to faintly snore.

her peace creates a tension, and a longing to find rest

her sleep is bringing comfort, lifting weight up off your chest.

her hair is laying simply, unbound and tumbling free

her eyes are closed but somehow, you can feel that she can see. 

her body soft, relaxed, and rid of all the pain it's felt - 

for a moment she is flying and the calm could make you melt.

and you love to see her sleeping but you hate to feel her go

for the sleep that takes her from you takes her far away, you know.

just watch her darling dimples dim, and let her tension fade,

for sleep takes her hardships 

and makes them fall in ravishing cascade.

uninspired

uninspired, and unsure

following motives all impure

trusting impulsive and hateful heart

angry because love has torn it apart.

~happy 100th post~

your eyes

your eyes can see me

your heart can know

your love will find me and

help me to grow

for your eyes have seen my hurting

and your hands have held my pain

when my heart was beating slowly

you stood with me through the strain

for your eyes hold tender mercy

and are full of love and grace

when i look into those searching eyes,

i long for your embrace. 

i long for you to see me but

    i long to quickly find

the person that will be forever

truly, wholly ... mine.

tread softly

bundled up against the cold

growing edgy and suddenly bold

crying out, to no one, it seems

"tread softly- for you tread on my dreams!"

been building and growing inside of a heart

after the end, coming back to the start

futility's found not in going but sending

the cycle is broken but still neverending

so those who would reprimand stand ever true

standing there thinking they benefit you-

they stand angry and callous and cold as can be...

"you're not standing on nothing! you're standing on me!"

hardy but touchy; delicate, tough

your heart still is fleshy but outside you're rough

you aren't fooling me as you quake in your shoes.

you're feeling like yesterday's old washed-up news.

tell them your feelings, tell them how they

have broken your love and have stolen your day

tell them how they ripped you apart at the seams

say, "tread softly, you fools, for you tread on my dreams!"

ethereal

originally uploaded by cocoladas.

so tired but still beautiful

simple, but still sound;

perfect floating radiance

that's asking to be found.

who knew that it'd be everyday?

and that it's commonplace

to find this utmost, greatest love

right there before your face?

this love is all around us now.

it turns and twists and bends.

tired, but still beautiful

this circle never ends.

one day.

[[well, since i lost the camera, 

i've gone back to jacking images off of flickr]]

a day of grace,

a day of light

a day to stand alone.

a day for cool independence to shine,

a day not to need to be known.

just a day to know how to stand by yourself

just one day to know who you are...

one day not to feel the white-hot scared resentment

one day not to see the great scar.

that day is so distant, that day seems unreal

my ache for it cuts like a knife.

oh, i long for that one day to come ever nearer

for that day is the hope of my life.

i know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart 

to the ground.

love ♪♫

turns the whole thing around.

who do i have?

whom have i in heaven but you?

and what do i need on earth?

my life with you is completed and full,

and my cup overflows with my mirth.

i need no one in my whole life but you.

not one but you can fulfill.

so i'll search for the words to express my great love

and adhere my life to your will.

for it's there that i'm happy and carefree and fine-

there that i don't have to ache

for the answers to all of the questions i ask

i'm doing your will for my sake!

i don't care if you haven't spelled it all out,

i praise you because you are great!

your goodness transcends my intense need to know...

so i'll sit here, and love you, and wait.

the wind

 originally uploaded by sing.sweet.

she can't fight the feeling of wind in her hair,

she tosses it lightly and runs.

she can't help believing on days like today

that babe, we're the sweet lucky ones.

is there ever a time she can feel this elation?

ever a time she's more free?

than when the strong wind affronts her from ahead

rushing and letting her see.

op'ning her eyes to the things of the world

the beautiful, wonderful things.

making her wish she could fly on its gusts,

making her wish she had wings.

Waiting

i read this poem based on psalm 27, and really liked it

so i took it and made it my own. 

meaning, this is not entirely original.

the pictures, however, are mine.

Desperate, helpless, and longing i cried:

Quiet and patient, with love He replied.

I pled and i wept for a clue to my fate,

and the master so gently said, "child, you must wait."

"Wait, you say? wait?!" my indignant reply

"Lord, i need ANSWERS! i need to know WHY!

is your hand shortened? or have you not heard?

by faith i have asked, i am claiming your word!

my future, and all to which i can relate

hangs in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?

i'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

even to 'no' i think i could resign.

and lord, you promised that if we believe

we need but to ask, and we shall receive.

So, Lord, i've been asking - Lord, this is my cry:

i'm weary of searching! i NEED a reply!"

then my resolution began to deflate

as my master replied once again, "You must wait."

so i slumped to the ground, defeated, distraught 

and grumbled to God... "so i'm waiting - for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His heart wept with mine.

He tenderly said, "i could give you a sign. 

i could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.

i could raise the dead, and make lame men to run!

all you seek i could give - but where, child, would you be...

if you got what you wanted, but didn't know Me?

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint,

you'd not know the power I lend to the faint.

you'd not learn to see through the dark of despair,

you'd not learn to trust just believing i'm there.

you'd not know the great joy of resting in Me,

when still clouds of blackness were all you could see. 

you'd never revel in fullness of love

as the peace of my spirit descends like a dove;

you'd know that i give and i save as a start,

but you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

or the coming of comfort late into the night;

the faith that i give when you walk without sight...

the depth thats beyond getting just what you asked

from an infinite God who makes what you have last.

you'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

what it means that 'my grace is sufficient for thee.'

Yes, your dreams of your love overnight would come true,

But... what great loss! if you lost what i'm doing in you!

so be silent, dear one, and in time you will see

that the greatest of gifts is to be close to Me.

and though often my answers seem terribly late, 

my most precious answer of all is still

'wait.' "

emotion

emotions can be tricky, but it's wondrous just to feel

though the spinning makes you dizzy you'll keep clinging to the wheel

that whips you round and up and down; makes you cry or thrive,

but keeps you on your toes and lets you know that you're alive.

you want to finally feel it, finally blossom in the sun

hoping to feel special, noticed, to feel like you're "the one"

knowing the pits of agony will heighten the peak of delight

going through hard times with grace and with poise

to feel love?

if you could, then you might.

magnified bitterness

i've now seen the truth, and come to my senses,

lost naivete and put up my defenses.

is there anymore reason to let someone in

when all people want is to have you, to win?

hold onto your own self, hold onto your pride,

take all your emotions and hold them inside.

'cuz people will use them against you - its true - 

they will if you give them the chance to know you.

don't tell him the way that you feel, though you'd like to.

it's all about him. it's not about you.

my own interpretations of doxology

Praise God from whom all blessings flow -- 

Praise Him all creatures here below.

Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts...

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

::

------------------------------------------

We'd praise him to eternity...

plants, beasts, and minerals all agree.

his honor highest beings sing

to this baffling love, this unknown thing.

-------------------------------------------

praise God, he gives us all we need.

from all his peoples, praise proceeds.

the sky declares his greatest name-

all different views proclaim the same.

------------------------------------------

praise him who loves to give us things.

we here on earth fly on his wings,

and as angels, sing his holy praise:

his ways are surely not our ways.

------------------------------------------

praise him who can do naught but good

we stand in awe, and so we should

e'en angels cannot know his might -- 

this triune God, this shaft of light.

------------------------------------------

[[just so you know, if you are trying to interpret this, these are not simply my take on new verses for the doxology. they did come out rhyming, but my original intent was to differently state what these well known and potentially worn-out lyrics can mean to me. each line is crafted after the coinciding line from the original. ok, just thought you should know.:]]

mudlot

mudlot, originally uploaded by sing.sweet.

i've made too many memories

to turn and slam the door

it's hard to keep up fighting...

now, what was i fighting for?

the colors of fall

the colors of fall, originally uploaded by sing.sweet.

feeling tired and scared and sad,

up against a wall

but finding hope and joy inside

the colors of the fall.

newness that will come from death

meaning that's for real

knowing beauty will end in pain

but it doesn't break the deal.

cuz the cycle is renewing

and the cycle doesn't end-

and the world has gone on for all of time

following this trend.

so find meaning in your changes

find faith inside your pain

sit back and watch your life mean more.

enjoy this changing stain.

believe.

nice to believe that all you long for you'll someday have.
nice to believe that beauty has more to do with function than it does with aesthetics.
nice to believe that some people see past a rough exterior.
nice to believe that there are those who care to hold you up to shine the way you know you can.
nice to believe that abnormalities enhance interest and complexity, instead of ugliness.

it's nice to be able to believe, isn't it?

have a little faith,

and hold onto it with all of your heart.

Black&White

the days are growing colder now, and lover's complaints forbear

for the snow we know is soon to fall will sparkle in her hair.

the good in all, and all is good ~ remains the lifelong cry

of the lover who has all to lose, and a sparkle in her eye.

has there ever been a moment when you lost your inhibitions?

well, dear, reach down and find them quick, or be made of contrition.

the bright consuming color that you think life may contain - 

- to be lost in sparkling wonderment - oh child, this is no game.

sometimes the greys consume the hues of happy gold and blue

and though the fields are beautiful, it may not seem so to you. 

so, like the lover, learn to find the good in all you see

the beauty that exists in all was made for you and me,

but is not always as you'd think - you must know that by now.

we must learn to thrive in black and white. we will. someday... somehow.

still waters stagnate

reflections, originally uploaded by sing.sweet.

i've fallen off, i've made my peace
the rushing water's taken me
down from my place of easy rest
i hate this change but know it's best.

beauty in tumbling shifting of life
throughout my days, i know they're rife
with tumultuous times and bumpy ways,
but i'm here for the cheese at the end of the maze.

so confused

what am i learning, what am i feeling?
you really want to know?
then man up, make your life your own.
step up and tell me so.

confused and angry, sad and sure
i know that this is right
but it sure is hard to elect lonely darkness
when i have the choice of light

what am i learning, what am i feeling?

you really want to know?

yeah... me too.

[[side note - i think i'm going to try and use original photos from now on. i'll let you know if they're not mine.]]

open

on the road to satisfaction 

i have found my bargain plea

see, there's nothing i can offer

'cept myself: and all of me. 

cuz i can't give just my intellect

and cant give just my pride

if i'm holding on to anything

my arms aren't open wide

to embrace the road before me

and embrace a love that's true.

so i'm dropping everything i've got

and holding on to you.

the road to satisfied...

i dont like this,

feeling useless

i dont like 

to feel alone.

does it matter 

if i like it?

is it hopeless?

is it home?

is it what i have

resigned to?

is this all 

the life i chose?

i wont whine, but

is this forever?

they say heaven

only knows.

only you can love me

no doubt the world will keep knocking us down,

but naturally we've come through it.

it's unmistakable how being loved like this feels

and only you can do it.

your love is different than everyone else's

i'm drawn to what just you can offer

there's respect i can notice, wonder i can feel-

i hang on your words as you proffer.

you understand the desires of my heart,

and i understand what you say

on top of your aid your heart comes a la carte...

only you love me that way.

insecurity

always someone to take your place

always someone better

you either disappear without a trace,

or you're mimicking to the letter. 

it's not you, not what you love-

your beautiful disaster. 

you're losing yourself in a sea you're scared of

and gaining timidity faster.

a beauty, intelligent, but insecure

don't forget to be true to the truth!

compromise that and you lose what is pure:

your passions, your quirks, and your youth.

now you've had hardships that have made you sure.

been beaten and broken and battered.

but here's something you can be gratified for:

that damned insecurity's shattered. 

gratitude for grace

as i look to you for guidance with my shallow seeking eyes,

they will brighten when i find you, which should come as no surprise.

am i looking for adventure, or the kind of life you bring?

am i hoping to find treasure or the chance for me to sing?

i want nothing but your comfort, and that way which you would have

for my feet to walk in step with yours is the most soothing salve

that ever i would find on earth, by farther and away...

and my heart laughs in gratitude, for i know not what else to say.

family

singing through sadness, fighting back fears

repressing the dark doubts and strangling tears.

running towards light which, far as you can see,

seems as far as it always has been and will be. 

long days and short nights wear you out, clear and thin

as you tug on your bootstraps, and wear your false grin.

dear one, there is true hope; dear love, there is life

try forgetting your worries and leaving your strife,

come home to the family who loves you more deeply

who will fight for you staunchly and climb for you steeply,

never forget where you came from, dear child

though you seek to be free and you live to be wild...

come back home to the family whose love will be there. 

your family is who you have. 

families care.

beauty and tears

-Grandparent's day 2009-

heartache and love, beauty and tears

a soothing sad voice as it falls on my ears

is there something that calms me or makes me to know

that we'll all just feel better, and once again grow?

love from the heartache, beauty from tears

never forgetting you soothe all my fears

there's nothing that makes me know better than this:

the repressive embraces that follow death's kiss.

goodbye, me-mah.

don't leave me.

surrounded by love, but you won't overbear

pathetically feeble and weepy.

you feel like you're just begging them

dont let me go, don't leave me.

who knew that it could feel this way

the loss, the setback, the sting.

they don't tell you grieving in time and as is

is the most ordinary thing.

different for all, but universally true

the feeling transcends the behavior

needing more than a cuddle and more than a friend...

needing a literal savior.

"don't let me go, don't leave my side",

your heart cries out to be held.

don't you wish you deserved it, wish you'd been good?

don't you wish you had never rebelled?

oh, how He loves us!

full of excitement and love of the world

you're a giggling, perfectly beautiful girl.

forgetting your mishaps and every last flaw,

you can now stand in wonder, and worship in awe.

no good, very bad day.

sometimes its a no good very bad day

and there's nothing you can do

there's blue sky somewhere but clouds above

and they're pouring down on you. 

its okay to be angry sometimes

to feel frustrated and upset

just remember that someday, and someday soon,

will be good as it's gonna get.

Jewel

Jewel, originally uploaded by Shootages.

softly, softly - so softly you come
the subtle excuses that leave me quite dumb.
gently you've worked your way into my head
priorities changed, nothing more to be said.
you found me alone and you came back to me
removed anger, resentment, and then let me see
and i'm happy again, in a way that's sincere.
oh jewel of joy, how i love that you're here.

delicate.

emotion rules me more than it ought

the delicate balance is thrown off again.

god, take me away, away from this dissonance

to a place where the love doesn't end.

a tear falls down, of joy or remorse?

in confusion i want nothing but to be held.

but rolled tightly inward, i clutch my own knees...

in hurt i'm inspired, in darkness compelled.

it's walking a tightrope, it's talking in code

it's delicate work that takes more than a friend

oh, stop this frustration! oh, take me away...

to a place where the love will not end.

the beauty in me

waking to a cold wet world.

opening my eyes

colorless, lifeless, but beautiful,

i find to my surprise.

there's beauty in good and beauty in bad

beauty in all that i'm seeing...

I love the creation of all as it is - 

its' storming and falling and being.

who knew that a day that i thought would bring hate 

dawning, made me to be free?

the cynic is gone, i can start moving on,

and start seeing the beauty in me.

refuge

full of peace, dripping with radiance
this solitude is very nice,
a place that makes me the picture of salience.
but every refuge has its price.

slow motion

there's a door to my heart i'm stuck behind,

i once peered through the rusted lock.

i saw the world for what it was

then turned my gaze back to the clock.

content but not quite satisfied, 

fulfilled but not all there

the colors just aren't quite bright enough

to make me stop and stare.

i feel transfixed inside myself,

trapped in but peering out.

the beauty i see makes me want to be

around, within, about. 

but i can't be seen about the world

in this old unsightly frock...

now the motion is slow, i must stop and go,

as i walk to my door, and knock. 

i'm letting go.

not to worry, not to care, not to be consumed with doubt
to follow what i know i love and live for what i'm all about
to learn to be truly grateful for the blessings on my way,
to stand on the edge of insanity but to know i'll be okay.
to open my hands to the future, and to wholly, completely forgive...
to seek to be truly letting go is the way that i want to live.

make the most

i don't mind a good enthralling day

of being a comfortable me

i'm not scared to laugh, so i should note

that i forgot the tea. 

this day is pretty, and i make the most

of days i wake up with a smile

it means a lot to smile on a day

you've been anxious about for awhile.

a forgetful soul remembering too much

i'm a paradox at best

but i'll make the most of this day that i have

and not worry about the rest.

Neurotic

i just get the feeling like something's not right.

i wanna be helpful, i wanna be strong,

but it's hard when i'm worried too, scared and upset

i just feel like something is terribly wrong.

praying for good and still yearning for best

i hope that this case will be open and shut.

am i overreacting? is there no cause for fear?

i cant shake this feeling inside of my gut.

it's okay, it's alright, we're gonna be fine

no matter the outcome, we're gonna get through.

i love you, i'm with you, there's no need to cry.

just hold on to me - i won't let go of you.

in my place

crucified to set me free...
i live to bring Him praise.

who knew i'd want you through and through-

i gave all that i am for you.

who knew on my best day i'd never be 

enough to give you what you need.

a tragic truth, a stinging curse,

i sing the song - verse after verse

a hopeless cry, a damned refrain...

i've you to lose; but naught to gain.