Thursday, July 22

my God is the opposite of my shortcomings.

though i am weak, he is strong. though i am faithless, still he is faithful.

movies to see: despicable me and toy story 3. [what am i, 12??]
oh, and dead poet's society.

books to read: Through Painted Deserts - Donald Miller; Irresistible Revolution - Shane Claiborne; The Folley of Prayer - Matt Woodley

i'm doing a lot of driving out to frisco and prosper lately... i can FINALLY get my car for real inspected again tomorrow. all i can say is that it had better pass. max and i have had some arguments lately.
the online classes are going a little better; i've passed two more quizzes, so that might start moving along more smoothly. i hope so! it's going to be hard to keep up with all the traveling i'm doing starting next Tuesday! i'm sure the Bacon wedding is just going to be beautiful; they asked me to photograph the girls getting ready, which i'm cool with. just let me be clear: I DO NOT WANT TO BE A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER. oh, the stresses, the lighting, the brides, the unpredictable children... the pressure! i admire wedding photographers greatly, and i stinking LOVE their stuff, but becoming one is Not. my aspiration. maybe someday i'll be good enough and be comfortable enough with awesome enough gear to be cool with it, but as of now, it's not the plan. =]

i am still (always, forever) learning about faithfulness. it's amazing to me that i can take my cues from the example of my very creator in this area. now, here is a trustworthy saying: if we died with him, we will also live with him. if we endure, we will also reign with him. if we disown him, he will also disown us. if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. 2tim2.11_13
what a paradoxical portion of text. in each statement, the second half is the result - it is contingent on the first half. except for that last one.
no matter what, God is faithful. there is nothing we can do to change it. his faithfulness is contingent on nothing - it just IS.
that's the God i serve. that's the way i'm supposed to be.
but i'm left feeling a little like monica in "the one where ross hugs rachel" when she tells her roommate rachel that chandler is moving in and rachel has to move out. She's sad to tell rachel the bad news, but when rachel doesn't bat an eye at the news and handles it like a champ, monica feels a twinge of remorse.
"don't they feel the least bit sad?" i ask the empty space next to me, "i mean, it's the end of an era!" because it's obviously all about me.
i am just a selfish, faithless girl. Lord, transform me into a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit, one who trusts in You regardless of the responses of others, one who serves those surrounding her with no expectation of reciprocation.
come close, listen to the story about a love more faithful than the morning.
the Father gave His only Son just to save us.
that's what i'm talking about.

love from dallas,

No comments:

Post a Comment