Monday, January 30

what, then

sometimes, i have an indeterminate desire to blog when i really have nothing to blog about.
i could be unbearably dramatic and vague... yes - i think that's certainly an option today.
maybe i could write about trust issues. maybe i could write about being misunderstood. maybe i could rant about the injustices that my upcoming generation is both undergoing and committing. But you would have read all of that before, elsewhere, and a thousand times.
i could find beautiful and poignant adjectives to elaborate on a point. i could write a rhyming poem, or try and motivate readers to be something better, do something more. i could post a concrete story or a humorous tidbit of insight into my obviously interesting daily life. i could share my soul, translating feelings into words, so that you would have to empathize. i could seek attention. i might find myself or stumble upon a really - if not truly - original thought.
but all i think i should be telling you, in however many words...
and all i should really be convincing myself, by whatever means necessary...
is that there is no more noble or worthwhile endeavor than the pursuit of Truth;
that the Truth about sincerity, the Truth about the human need, the Truth about emotion, and the Truth about wretchedness is clearly and unquestionably Absolute.
i think i believe it, but i do not live it. how can i tell you what i think is of paramount importance when i live proving its insignificance in my life?
how can i encourage you when i find the extended twilight of depression falling on my eyes?
how can i extend insight when my own shortsightedness has cost me so dearly?
how can i convince you when i believe nothing i tell myself?
what then should i blog?

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