Saturday, December 22

on a day filled with babies, Christmas, and singing.

Regardless of how much you wanted to ignore it today,
today could have been the end of the world.
i know, i know, i'm sorry - but it was on your mind, and it was on mine, too.

i woke up thinking; "If today was really my last day to live, what would I regret?"

i kept thinking on it, and i even asked a few of my friends for their hypothetical regrets to get some perspective.

i pondered my question to myself through a staff meeting which involved a lot of Hindi brainstorming. Many things are happening at PMI. I'll keep you updated as they actually unfold, but know that I'm excited for some change, and praying for the best and wisest things. Continue to think of us as we seek the will of our watchful Father.

i took my thoughts with me to the house of a dear friend where I photographed her two-month old baby girl - though it was short, it was my first true photoshoot in months. Here's some fun things to know about me: 1) i really enjoy photography. 2) i love, love, love babies. Me and Athalia had some good times until i made her mad by putting her purple mittens on, but once she calmed down and i stopped taking pictures of her, she fell asleep in my arms while her mom made us both lunch. Her mom (Kham) and I got to have some really sweet and meaningful conversations - this lady is very creative, driven, serious, and honest. She has high expectations of those around her, and I enjoy her passionate attitude. She's a good lady, and a good mommy.

i kept thinking as i returned to PMI for yet another Christmas program. This particular program was organized by none other than the explosive and enthusiastic Praisey, my roommate and dear friend. It was the best program i've seen here by a long shot as far as smoothness and planning goes. My hat is off to the people involved -- they worked, they practiced, they operated according to plan and most importantly, they showed up.  i really enjoyed seeing the Nandlal kids from 6th-12th grade share what they had learned about Christmas and dance and sing and recite and act.

Immediately after the program, my thoughts and i were whisked away with nine other people in a minivan for another wonderful night of caroling. So much Hindi. So many dear friends. So much dancing. So much CHAI.  So much Truth.

after hours of singing, I came home to a package from America filled with Christmas cards from family. I sat down and read each one, touched by the combined effort and thoughtfulness involved in getting them to me. I treasured them, gathered them up, and wondered, "What if today was my last day to live?"

anything i have actively aspired to accomplish i've either done spontaneously or planned and brought to fruition by the grace of God. When I blush, i'm learning to trust. When I fail, i'm learning to laugh. When my heart is moved, i am learning to respond. Where i find love, i embrace it. When i feel frustrated, i look for beauty. When i look for beauty, i find it.

if today was my last day to live, it was a day filled with a chance to act out love toward all those i came in contact with, joy in both difficult and enjoyable circumstances, peace in the trials of my life and toward those who know only the tumult of hopelessness, patience with children and traffic and crowded resource centers, kindness in hugs to acquaintances, goodness by letting the Best News ring out in clear song in the streets, faithfulness by reading the Word of God and in a nightly email to my boyfriend, gentleness in handling a two month old and a two year old (as well as a couple of caustic situations), and self-control as i constantly learn to be quiet, to be gracious, and to be selfless.
if today was my last day to live, it was a day i knew intimately the Spirit of God, and sensed the opportunities He gave me to put Him on display.

if today was my last day to live, it wouldn't have been because the Mayans said so; it would have been because the Author of time decided before the formation of the earth that it would be so.

May He continuously guide my steps, as the world turns on.

love from Delhi,
Julie without regret. 

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