One thing i keep coming back to is that living here takes so much Trust. that means that the living is hard, but it's one of the things i keep feeling that i love most about being here. I'm not scared for my life, i'm not worried for my safety (though i am taking EVERY safety precaution necessary and possible, dad! promise!). i just know that i have to walk out on faith. I always wanted to learn to be faith-filled - a term i find more descriptive than 'faithful', which brings to mind only marital relationships... not something i need to worry about at this point in my life - but i've never really HAD to be. This place is a daily test of faith. Do i trust that i will be taken care of? Do i trust that i will have the measure of strength i need for the day? Do i trust that i will not forget where i am and wander off down an Indian square? Do i trust that i won't be eaten by mange-ridden dogs or a rabid camel...? Do i trust that my feet will not shrivel up in their own dusty filth and die dark and horrible flaky deaths??? Yes, friends, and i MUST trust all of these things, otherwise i would not leave my pinkhouse in the morning. but i do trust, i do leave, and i enjoy myself immensely. I have delighted myself in my father, and he seems to have given me the desires of my heart. i can truly say i did not even know what it WAS that my heart desired previous to feeling as satisfied as i have in the past two weeks.
hmm, how good he is. be still and know him. taste, and see.
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