Friday, February 19

crystal clear

sometimes, i just wish i were the smart girl who has it all together.
but i'm not.
foggy, murky undertones, and you have plugged my ears;
remembering days i felt right at home, but now what am i doing here?
my days are filled with isolation; my nights are filled with fear-
life has a mean way of thinking it's funny. life's not crystal clear.

laughing at days i thought things were all good, laughing at things i held dear
pushing away what i once thought i loved, and holding my agony near.
there must be a reason i can't hold my peace - my tipped-turvy life drips a tear
for nothing is certain, nothing is sound, and nothing in life's crystal clear.

to grow in my knowledge and stature and love, to be more mature year by year
i wanted it but now i seem paralyzed, and the whole world is stopping to jeer.
my senses are filled up and all overwhelmed, but i can't breathe or see, speak or hear.
i can't breathe or see what i'm coming to be. i can't see. for nothing is clear.

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